The Hidden Decisions Running Your Life (And You Don’t Even Know It) | Will Steel
Ontological coach Will Steel reveals how unconscious childhood decisions become the limiting beliefs that quietly run your adult life. Learn the exact language shift that releases them.
Former RAF pilot turned executive coach Will Steel joins Nick Urban to unpack why affirmations and positive thinking don't heal limiting beliefs, how a single word change ("I am" vs "I have") can rearrange someone's entire identity in seconds, and how his "fly the airplane" protocol keeps leaders calm when life comes at them from every direction.
🔎 ontological coaching, limiting beliefs, identity, unconscious decisions, executive coaching, RAF pilot, Werner Erhart, leadership, mindset, fitra, Will Steel
📝 About our guest
Will Steel is an executive coach, former RAF pilot, and author of Free to Lead. He trained in ontological coaching under Werner Erhart's lineage and has led leadership programs across the UK, Middle East, and Asia. His work blends military discipline with deep ontological inquiry, and he won't coach anyone for less than 12 months because real identity work takes time.
📕 Video chapters
00:00 Intro
00:53 Unidentified past decisions limit what's possible
02:13 How belief loops form and lock in
12:44 What ontology actually is
18:08 "I am depressed" vs "I have depression"
22:00 Body symptoms as unspoken communication
32:08 What flying airplanes teaches you about humans
39:52 Get the table to be the table
43:28 Why subtraction beats stacking skills
49:18 The coach who taught Will to really listen
51:32 The scientist whose $600 rate hid an 11-year-old story
56:33 The art dealer and the $17 million question
59:54 Is coaching the ultimate biohack?
1:05:15 What fitra means and why it matters
1:07:11 Keep separating what's happening from what you add
🔗 Links
- Full episode show notes: https://outliyr.com/258
- Music by Alexander Tomashevsky: soundcloud.com/alexunderthesky
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🔑 Key takeaways
- Limiting beliefs aren't abstract thoughts, they're specific decisions you made in specific moments
- Your radar collects evidence to prove every decision right, whether you remember making it or not
- "I am" fuses you to a state, "I have" separates you from it and the body listens to the difference
- The healing happens in your own exact words, not a coach's diagnosis
- Body symptoms often communicate suppressed messages your mouth hasn't said out loud
- Fly the airplane first: get facts and horizon level before reacting to any crisis
- Subtraction beats addition when you're stuck, strip away meaning before adding strategies
- Real coaching happens in the listening, not the prescriptions
- Fitra means your true essence, the seed that grows into the perfect plant in any soil
- You can provide leadership from any position, it has nothing to do with your job title
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Disclaimers:
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